During the first couple weeks of November, we want to consider this a time of shifting. The weather gets a little cooler, it’s darker, and before you know it, the holidays are here.
While some seem to thrive in the excitement of these celebrations, there are a great deal of people who may start to feel like they are ‘bracing for impact."‘
Not feeling ‘festive’ can be a daunting experience, especially with societal pressures and social media depicting this season as a time of immense joy and gratitude.
Not experiencing this may have folks questioning if they are being ungrateful and can also bring on feelings of guilt and shame. Yet, the results of a study completed by the American Psychological Association in 2023¹ concluded that 9/10 adults feel additional stress during the holidays.
Holidays can feel stressful in a very layered way. It can be hard to fully understand unless we take time to consider specifics.
Taking some time to be introspective and reflective about our end-of-year triggers, pain points, and misalignment can help us identify areas that we may want to address before we are in the thick of it.
While this is not an exhaustive list of stressors, these are some of the most commonly discussed in therapeutic settings.
Food and Body Image
While the holidays can be full of joy, love, and fun, they can be a minefield for someone in recovery from disordered eating or those struggling with body image.
Societally, we put a lot of focus on the food during the holiday season that is also embedded in diet culture.
It’s unfortunately common to say or hear comments like, “I’m eating too much,” “I’m going to gain so much weight,” “My new year’s resolution is to cut out carbs,” the list goes on and on.
While this might not be bothersome to all, for people in recovery from a past of eating challenges and body issues, this time of year can be the most triggering.
Preventative coping for body image issues and food stress during the holiday season might look like developing a meal plan early. How will you make sure you’re eating enough and continuing to nourish your body from an additive lens instead of a restrictive lens?
Maybe it would be helpful to start to track thoughts and feelings about food and apply some reframing. What are neutral or positive reframes to keep on hand?
It might also be helpful to identify the supportive folks that you might see throughout the season and let them know your boundaries of how food and bodies are talked about.
Increased professional support might also be helpful. Increasing your cadence with your therapist, adding the support of a body-image coach or seeing a weight-inclusive dietitian might be helpful before the hustle and bustle of the holidays. It may also be helpful to join a support group that can provide group support and skills for navigating food and the holidays.
Alcohol/Substances and Recovery
Regardless if you are in recovery, sober curious, or practicing sobriety, the holidays can seem like a marathon of coping with triggers and temptations.
Recovery is already difficult and making it through a period of time that is centered around celebrations and taking part in substances can feel incredibly overwhelming.
Revisiting and refreshing coping skills can be really helpful to prepare for the end of the year. Knowing who can be an ally in social settings and familial settings is also productive to map out ahead of time. It can also be helpful to bring your own NA beverages or plan out how to turn down offers of substances from others ahead of time.
Additionally, relapse prevention planning is a really common framework that is used in several sobriety settings like group therapy and self-help meetings. It’s exactly what it sounds like: a plan to prevent a relapse. Relapse can be considered any behavior that takes us out of alignment from our goals and values.
There are several different outlines to a relapse prevention plan; here are some things to consider including in yours:
What are my triggers?
What do I need to do when my triggers are present?
When is my next therapy session/support meeting? Do I need to make one sooner?
If I feel triggered, who can I call to pass the time?
What are my coping skills that I want to implement regardless of triggers being present?
This can also be helpful to discuss with a recovery coach who can provide additional feedback and support.
Familial Challenges
Familial dysfunction can feel like it’s on high frequency during the holiday season. It can be a time of immense stress and dysregulation throughout an entire family structure.
This can leave people feeling isolated, taken advantage of, or triggered by previous familial trauma. The holidays can be a time where people feel an immense amount of obligation in the name of family and may be left them feeling unfulfilled and exhausted.
A recommended first step would be to evaluate your boundaries. What can you align with and what might be in your best interest to disengage from?
Try to be honest and prioritize your needs. If you struggle with boundary setting, people pleasing, or familial trauma, it might also be helpful to engage in therapy to discuss what self prioritization can look like ahead of time.
Additionally, beginning to discuss with emotionally safe family members how they can support you is helpful. That way, there can be conversations on how to engage with the rest of the family system or find ways to celebrate festivities while removed.
Financial Stress
For some, anxiety and stress surrounding finances can create an ongoing sense of scarcity. Booking flights, buying gifts, hosting, etc. can add up quickly and feel completely consuming.
This can drastically affect someone's ability to regulate and feel comfortable during the seasonal transition, knowing that the financial obligations feel steeper.
Anticipating the shift in spending can be helpful, but what can be even more helpful is to have a plan. It could be helpful to plan out what your budget looks like and what range you would like to stay in. Practice boundary-setting and communicating this plan as needed.
Additionally, try to remember that you can feel empowered to disengage with spending that doesn’t feel aligned, even if it is something that feels necessary to others.
Your financial health is your own and finding ways to invest in togetherness and joy without spending might be an exciting challenge that feels emotionally rewarding and fulfilling.
Nervous System Burn Out
While some may feel like they are breezing towards the annual finish line, others may feel as though they are slowly crawling.
Depending on what your end of year looks like, there may be a chance that it feels like crunch time right near the end when you are already on fumes. This can be really challenging if you are feeling burnt out and can even feel isolating.
It’s important to start coping with this burnout by tuning into the body and listening to the warning signs. The further we push ourselves into burnout, the more challenging it is to return to baseline.
It may be helpful to intentionally decompress now and make a plan for how we would like to decompress as we get further into the busyness of the end of the year.
Planning time to meditate, investing in self care, and asking for help can all be ways to begin lightening our load before it feels oppressive beyond repair.
It might be helpful to seek a professional who has experience with integrating somatic practices, reiki, and energy work into their healing work.
Intentional Holiday Support
The holiday season is often perceived and experienced as a time of joy, warmth, and togetherness. However, you’re not alone if it also triggers heightened stress, loneliness, and emotional challenges.
At Bellamy Wellness, we understand the significance of navigating these difficult emotions and offer coping strategies to help you thrive during this season.
If you’d like to dig deeper, check out our Holiday Coping Kit - a downloadable resource designed to assist you in managing emotional challenges during the holidays.
We are also hosting a three-part holiday coping series intended to provide support during the holidays. This group will focus on how to navigate a resurgence of disordered eating or body rejection as well as discuss ways to feel skillful with recovery goals and setting boundaries with family.
Our therapists and coaches are here to support you in utilizing these resources effectively, tailoring strategies to your individual needs, and ensuring a holistic approach to your emotional well-being throughout the holiday season and beyond.
¹References: American Psychological Association. (2023). Even a joyous holiday season can cause stress for most Americans.
